I couldn’t very well have gone walking up to the girl and her told how I felt about her could I? Well shit, she was Bill’s fiancée already, wasn’t she? And what’s more, ever since Bill had brought her to our town, there had always been something about the way the woman looked at me that I couldn’t get my head around either. At that first meeting, there had been — what I’ve always interpreted as — an expression of horror in Stephanie’s eyes when she looked at me. And, at our few subsequent meetings, Stephanie had always had an inexplicable air about her of being uncomfortable in my presence. And well, she appeared to avoid actually looking at, or speaking directly to me. Yeah well, in a way that was to my advantage, because I wanted to avoid speaking to her anyway, so I can’t say that it bothered me all that much. I very soon came to the conclusion that she was not only actively avoiding me, but trying to keep Bill out of my company as well. But I supposed, that that was pretty. I am stillfifteen, too young to emancipate. They would put me in foster care for ayear, which would totally screw my transition. I need to become moreindependent. But transition has made me alone. My only ally is Cesar, whois unreliable, unemployed and uneducated. He is not tough enough tosurvive on his own, much less to protect me. I need to find someone tohelp me through this most difficult of transitions.I am on the toilet, pushing out the residues of my encounter withAntoine. Antoine forced me, but had I provoked him? He's probablyregaling his gang banger buddies with his account of it now. They'replaying ball, and talking trash about me. God, they'll all expect to fuckme. That would a rush, if I lived to tell the tale. It would be better tojust leave Fairfax High forever, get a GED someday. I should just forgetit happened, and avoid ever seeing Antoine or anyone else from thatschool again. My ass twinges and reminds me of Antoine's big black cock ramming inside.The memory of.
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